Wendy: Hey. Ron.
Ron Swanson: Hello, Wendy. Well, you and Tom really turned the party around.
Wendy: Well, we have a good time together. Tom told me that you know about our green card marriage. And I just want to say thank you for not telling anyone.
Ron Swanson: No worries. I'd hate for you to have to go back to Canada. All that socialized medicine up there.

Ann: Hey, guys.
April: Hey. Remember my boyfriend Derek, and his boyfriend Ben?
Ann: Yeah, hi. It's totally okay that you didn't wear a costume.
Derek: I did. I'm a straight person.
Mark: [enters] Hey, sorry I'm late.
Derek: See?
Ann: Sorry it's a little bit lame right now. But we'll get it going.
[aside to camera:]
April: I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year, I saw three Jonas Brothers make out with three Robert Pattinsons. It was amazing.

Ann: [aside to camera] Halloween is my favorite holiday, it's just the best. And I don't have to work. Hey, slutty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens, pump your own stomachs this year.