Ron Swanson Quote #25

Quote from Ron Swanson in Practice Date

Tom: Hey. This is gonna sound weird. I'm looking for a guy named Duke Silver.
Bartender: Yeah, he goes on in a second.
Emcee: Ladies, ladies, ladies, it's just about that time. It's with the jazziest pleasure that I bring out for you, my man, Mr. Duke Silver!
Ron Swanson: Thank you, Dwayne. As always, it is a thrill to be here, during this witching hour with you lovely ladies. Now, relax, and let the Duke Silver Trio take you on a little journey to yourself. [jazz band plays Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is"]


Features in the collection: Duke Silver.

‘Duke Silver’

Quote from Andy in Moving Up (Part 2)

Andy: Well, how about this Unity concert, huh, Pawnee? [cheers and applause] I love this town so much, and I'm just so proud to live here. And we're gonna close tonight out with a tribute to Pawnee's greatest treasure. [sings] Up in horsey heaven, here's the thing You trade your legs for angel's wings And once we've all said good-bye You take a running leap, and you learn to fly
All: Bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian I miss you in the saddest fashion Bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian You're 5,000 candles in the wind.
Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Duke Silver!
Ron Swanson: [plays sax solo]
All: Bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian I miss you in the saddest fashion Bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian You're 5,000 candles in the wind

Quote from Ron Swanson in Moving Up (Part 1)

Andy: Last chance, Ron. The slots are finalized, but I can squeeze in ten minutes if a certain mister... [whispering] Duke Silver wanted to come out. Come on, Ron, it's gonna be so fun.
Ron Swanson: Thank you, Andrew, but fun or not, playing music is something I like to keep private, along with my family, my conversations, and my whereabouts at all times.

 ‘Practice Date’ Quotes

Quote from Leslie Knope

Ann: Leslie, relax.
Leslie Knope: Yeah. Okay? I just have a few more questions for you, Ann. What if he shows up with another woman? What if one of my sleeves catches on fire and it spreads rapidly? What if instead of Tic Tacs, I accidentally pop a couple of Ambien and I have to keep punching my leg to stay awake?
Ann: Those are all insane hypotheticals. And I promise you they won't happen.
Leslie Knope: They have happened. All of these have happened to me.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: No, there's more. One time, I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine. Once I went out with a guy who wore 3D glasses the entire evening. Oh, one time I rode in a sidecar on a guy's motorcycle, and the sidecar detached and went down a flight of stairs. Another time, I went to a really boring movie with a guy, and while I was asleep, he tried to pull out one of my teeth. I literally woke up with his hand in my mouth. We went out a couple times after that, but then he got weird.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I've established a scientifically perfect 10-point scale of human beauty. Wendy is a 7.4, which is way too high for Tom, who is a 3.8. Ten is tennis legend Steffi Graf.

Quote from Donna

Tom: Hey, Donna. Let me ask you something. Do you hate black people?
Donna: Excuse me?
Tom: 'Cause, apparently, in 1988, you donated money to the presidential campaign for David Duke.
April: The KKK guy?
Donna: I got a phone call. They said he would lower taxes.