Tom Quote #44
Quote from Tom in The Stakeout
Leslie Knope: You're not from here, right?
Tom: No. I'm from South Carolina.
Leslie Knope: But you moved to South Carolina from where?
Tom: My mother's uterus.
Leslie Knope: But you were conceived in Libya, right?
Tom: Wow. No. I was conceived in America. My parents are Indian.
Leslie Knope: Where did the name 'Haverford' come from?
Tom: My birth name is Darwish Zubair Ismail Gani, and I changed it to Tom Haverford because, you know, brown guys with funny-sounding Muslim names don't make it really far in politics.
Leslie Knope: What about Barack Obama?
Tom: Okay, yeah, fine, Barack Obama. If I knew a dude named Barack Obama was going to be elected President, yeah, maybe I wouldn't have changed it.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘The Stakeout’ Quotes
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: I have stakeout supplies. This is stuff that we're probably going to need. We have notepads, pencils and pencil case. Shakable whipped cream. Cameras. Pork. And candy necklaces. It's like we're real police. And I made us a mix CD. It's all filled with songs about people watching people. It's mostly Sting. And look, I put our faces on there.
Tom: It's really cool.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] I would like to be President someday, so, no, I have not smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once. At a party in college. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable, actually. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there wasn't any pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.
Quote from Tom
Leslie Knope: People have just really embraced this and planted the coolest stuff. And Tom is our master horticulturist. He knows all the scientific names for everything. Right, Tom?
Tom: Yeah.
Leslie Knope: Like this. What's this, Tom?
Tom: Those are, of course, tomatoes, or Soulja Boy Tell 'Ems.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Whenever Leslie asks me for the Latin names of any of our plants, I just give her the names of rappers.
[back:]
Leslie Knope: And those over there?
Tom: Uh, those are some Diddys. Those are some Bone Thugs-n-Harmony-ums right here.
Leslie Knope: Growing beautifully.
Tom: Those Ludacrises are coming in great.
Leslie Knope: Look, someone planted something new. What's this? What do you think, carrots? If that's true, we have a garden pest on our hands. Maybe some kind of spice?
Tom: Yeah. You know, Leslie, the best way to figure out what kind of spice that is, just roll it up into a joint and smoke it.