Joan Callamezzo Quote #40
Quote from Joan Callamezzo in Pawnee Zoo
Joan Callamezzo: Guess who?
Tom: Uh... Megan Fox? One of the Desperate Housewives?
Joan Callamezzo: No, Joan Callamezzo.
Tom: Hey, Joanie! What's up, gorgeous? Good to see you.
Leslie Knope: Tom comes on the show all the time. Joan loves him.
[TV clip:]
Tom: You have the softest skin of any woman in Pawnee.
Joan Callamezzo: Thank you.
Tom: I wish you could reach, from your TV screen, and just touch Joan's skin for a second.
Joan Callamezzo: That's sweet. You'd have a treat. You're pretty soft yourself.
Tom: How are your kids doing?
Joan Callamezzo: They're pretty good.
Tom: Is it tough for them to have a mother that is so beautiful? What's it like being the most attractive woman in Pawnee?
Joan Callamezzo: You keep up those funnies, I'm gonna have to invite you over for supper.
Tom: Well, I'll have to come over for supper.
Joan Callamezzo: Oh! You must.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Pawnee Zoo’ Quotes
Quote from Leslie Knope
Ron Swanson: Okay, here's the situation.
Leslie Knope: Your parents went away on a week's vacation. They left the keys to the brand new Porsche. Would they mind? Mm... Well, of course not. [rapping] I'll just take it for a little spin And maybe show it off to a couple of friends I'll just cruise around the neighborhood. Well, maybe I shouldn't Yeah! Of course I should Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot Pulled up to the corner at the end of my block That's when I saw this beautiful girly-girl walking I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking Sunroof was open, the music was high And that girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car I can't believe it! I made a mistake But parents are the same No matter time nor place So to all you kids all across the land No need to argue Parents just don't understand [cheers and applause] Thank you. Thank you. Just a little something I know. So, what's up?
Ron Swanson: Someone is on fire in Ramsett Park. They need you to get down there right away.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God.
Quote from April
April: Hey. This is my boyfriend, Derek, and this is Derek's boyfriend, Ben.
Ben: Hi.
Leslie Knope: Hey. Oh! Wait, sorry, what's the situation?
April: What do you mean?
Leslie Knope: How does this work?
April: Derek is gay, but he's straight for me, but he's gay for Ben, and Ben's really gay for Derek. And I hate Ben.
Derek: It's not that complicated.
Ben: No.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Jerry: Hey, Leslie, some guy who owns a gay bar sent you a cake.
Leslie Knope: Pawnee has a gay bar?
Ron Swanson: Yeah. The Bulge. It's behind my house.
Leslie Knope: The Bulge is a gay bar? Uh, the nights I've wasted there.