Jerry Quote #113
Quote from Jerry in Two Funerals
Ben: Hey, Bobby, thanks for coming in.
Bobby Newport: Good to see you guys. It's been a while. How's Leslie? Is she still, um...uh... Oh. What was that thing we ran for again?
Ben: City councilor.
Bobby Newport: I don't know. All right, if you say so. I tell you, it's so hard to remember boring stuff like that.
Ben: Choosing to ignore what you just said, we need an interim mayor just for two months. And given your family name and how well-liked you are, I thought you might be interested.
Bobby Newport: Mayor?
Ben: Yeah.
Bobby Newport: Man, that'll be fun. God, I don't think I can do it, though. Yeah, 'cause I'm getting ready to go on a big trip, to space. That'll be really fun too. Everything in life is always just so fun, right?
Jerry: It really is.
Bobby Newport: See, this guy knows what's what. [awkward fist-bump] Yeah.
Jerry: That was--yeah.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Two Funerals’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Donna: We're so sorry, Ron. You guys were close?
Ron Swanson: I've seen Salvatore the first Tuesday of the month for the past four decades. Same exact thing every time. I paid him $8. I sat in the same chair. Salvatore put the same cape over me. Then he'd always ask me about the same thing... nothing. It was perfect. Can't delay this forever. Excuse me. [at the casket] The three most important people in a man's life are his barber, his butcher, and his lover. I have lost one of those. Here's a tenner, Sal. As you know, I don't believe in tipping, so I will collect my change from your wife. [to Donna] I had an appointment with Salvatore scheduled for Tuesday. Look how raggedy my hair is. What am I supposed to be, some kind or rock star?
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: So, Typhoon, what do you like to do for fun?
Typhoon: I'm writing an electronic opera about Brittany Murphy, and I do the chandelier design for my friend's drag puppet show.
Ron Swanson: No further questions.
Typhoon: All I really want to do is dance. Except lately all the good warehouse raves are filled with Eurotrash.
Ron Swanson: "Eurotrash," I like that. It is, indeed, a garbage continent.
Typhoon: Yes. Oh, my God. I had the worst time in Berlin last May. Everyone was on their stupid bikes. I was like, "Ew."
Ron Swanson: [laughs] Please, talk more about how you hate Europe and bicycles.
Quote from April
Bobby Newport: Hey, Ben, have you ever been to space? You should check it out. Seriously. I'm sure the Russian guys who built the rocket would be cool with it.
Ben: Really?
Bobby Newport: Just one thing, do you have $600,000? It's just, that's what they need for a deposit.
Ben: Oh. Well, no.
April: I've already been to space. I was the second person to walk on the moon. Buzz Aldrin. Nice to meet you.
Bobby Newport: Nice try. [chuckling] That's the guy from Toy Story.