Andy Quote #529
Andy: I've got a meeting as well. See you back at the house.
Ben: Andy has a meeting?
[cut to Dennis Feinstein's TP'd office:]
Dennis Feinstein: Upload it to my GryzzlGlass. Left eye. I'm watching porn with my right eye. Whoa. Who...did...this?
Andy: We did. One way or another, Jonathan Karate always gets his man. And like that, they were gone. [whistles] Go! Wait, where's-- Hey, guys, where's Gavin? Gav-- Wait, stop. There were supposed to be six ninjas. Where's Gavin? Gavin? Who was Gavin's buddy? Caleb? Come on, dude, why do we even have a buddy system? Is he in the bathroom? You need to tell me if Gavin is pooping. [children laugh] No, do not laugh, okay? You're not even Caleb. You're Gavin. You're Caleb. If you're Caleb, where's Hunter? Hunter? Hunter? Okay, who was Hunter's buddy? Hmm? Oh, I was. Oh, crap. Oh, Dennis, what a mess.
Dennis Feinstein: You have 30 seconds to get out of this facility.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Save JJ's’ Quotes
Quote from Andy
Ben: Now you said your new landlord didn't give you a chance to counter. Who is it?
JJ: It was a company with a weird-sounding name. Hang on.
Andy: Was it Putin? Voldemort Putin? Of Russia? I'd love to take that bastard down.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: Ron? What do you say? Dynamic duo get together one more time to try to save JJ's Diner?
Ron Swanson: I can't think of anything more noble to go to war over than bacon and eggs.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: All right, everybody, listen up. We're here today because JJ's Diner has been a part of Pawnee for 41 years. And this man right here built that diner from the ground up with his own two hands.
JJ: That's not true.
Leslie Knope: It's called constructing a narrative, JJ. You stick to the breakfast. I'll deal with the politics. So, now, let's hear from a man who knows the value of things staying the same. Ron Swanson. [cheering]
Ron Swanson: I do not like rallies. And based on what I see from this vantage point, I do not like most of you. What I do like is breakfast food. JJ's has very good breakfast food, so it should remain open. Please do not approach me on the street after this event and attempt to talk to me. Our similarities begin and end with this single issue.
Leslie Knope: Ron Swanson.