Parks and Recreation - Andy Quote #529

Quote from Andy in Save JJ's

Andy: I've got a meeting as well. See you back at the house.
Ben: Andy has a meeting?
[cut to Dennis Feinstein's TP'd office:}
Dennis Feinstein: Upload it to my GryzzlGlass. Left eye. I'm watching porn with my right eye. Whoa. Who...did...this?
Andy: We did. One way or another, Jonathan Karate always gets his man. And like that, they were gone. [whistles] Go! Wait, where's-- Hey, guys, where's Gavin? Gav-- Wait, stop. There were supposed to be six ninjas. Where's Gavin? Gavin? Who was Gavin's buddy? Caleb? Come on, dude, why do we even have a buddy system? Is he in the bathroom? You need to tell me if Gavin is pooping. [children laugh] No, do not laugh, okay? You're not even Caleb. You're Gavin. You're Caleb. If you're Caleb, where's Hunter? Hunter? Hunter? Okay, who was Hunter's buddy? Hmm? Oh, I was. Oh, crap. Oh, Dennis, what a mess.
Dennis Feinstein: You have 30 seconds to get out of this facility.

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‘Save JJ's’ Quotes

Quote from Andy

Ben: Now you said your new landlord didn't give you a chance to counter. Who is it?
JJ: It was a company with a weird-sounding name. Hang on.
Andy: Was it Putin? Voldemort Putin? Of Russia? I'd love to take that bastard down.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: Ron? What do you say? Dynamic duo get together one more time to try to save JJ's Diner?
Ron Swanson: I can't think of anything more noble to go to war over than bacon and eggs.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: It's over. They won. Everything is changing. This town is going to be unrecognizable in ten years. Even JJ's Diner is disappearing.
JJ: What can I get you guys?
Leslie Knope: However many waffles it takes to keep you in business.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: I'm happy with some of the changes that Pawnee has gone through. I mean, the standard of living is up. We have pressed juice bars and yoga studios and a pet hotel. But I think the town is losing some of its charm. And there's too much kale now. One place asked me if I wanted kale in my milkshake. My milkshake, you guys.

Andy Quotes

Quote from Save JJ's

Ben: Now you said your new landlord didn't give you a chance to counter. Who is it?
JJ: It was a company with a weird-sounding name. Hang on.
Andy: Was it Putin? Voldemort Putin? Of Russia? I'd love to take that bastard down.

Quote from Flu Season

Andy: Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have network connectivity problems.

Quote from New Slogan

Ron Swanson: You really shouldn't have dug that out of the dumpster.
Andy: I had to. Also I had a banana on the way over here. Sorry. I get why you don't want any more to know about Duke Silver, and you don't have to worry. You secret is safe with me. To even it out, I'm gonna tell you all of my secrets.
Ron Swanson: Oh, no, that's not necessary.
Andy: I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks. I didn't actually sell my last car. I just forgot where I parked it. I don't know who Al Gore is, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask. When they say 2% milk, I don't know what the other 98% is. When I was a baby, my head was so big scientists did experiments on me. I once threw beer at a swan, and then it attacked my niece Rebecca.