Leslie Knope Quote #1541
Quote from Leslie Knope in Leslie and Ron
Ron Swanson: So... what would you like to talk about?
Leslie Knope: Oh, come on, Ron. We were friends for ten years.
Ron Swanson: We were work proximity associates.
Leslie Knope: We were friends. And now we're not. And once again, it is up to me to save our friendship, and I will do so using the most powerful tool known to man: a well-organized chart. Three years ago, I accept a job at National Parks. You and I see each other less, admittedly, due to my busy schedule and your utter lack of interest in maintaining adult friendships.
Ron Swanson: Work proximity associate-ships.
Leslie Knope: Three months later, April comes to work for me. We throw her a party. At her request, the party's theme is "Zombie Teenage Biker Gang Pizza Jamboree."
Ron Swanson: I remember. You made me wear a leather jacket.
Leslie Knope: That is the last time you and I see each other for more than five minutes. Three months later, you come and visit me at my office on the third floor for the very first time. One week later, I return from a trip, and I find out you have quit the Parks Department and you have started your own building company without even bothering to tell me. "Oh, well," I think to myself. "You know, it was only a matter of time." And then, two months after that, Morningstar, the final twist of the knife.
Ron Swanson: Oh, for God's sake.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Leslie and Ron’ Quotes
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Aha! Jackpot. You know what this is, Ron? This is a mix I made for the summer Parks barbecue, 2007. I asked everyone in the Parks Department to choose one song. You chose Buddy by Willie Nelson, a fact I remember because my mind is a steel trap of friendship nuggets. But I am not going to play your choice. I'm gonna play Jerry's choice.
[Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" plays]
Leslie Knope: Ooh, that's right. And I'm gonna sing along. And I'm gonna maintain eye contact the whole time. And guess what. I don't know the words. [sings] Harry Truman was a guy America, Red China All the countries, other people Everyone is fun Joe Mantegna, Ian McKellen I have to buy a new toaster This is awesome, you're so stupid Jumping up and down. [talks] Whoo! Oh, I got it on repeat. Come on, Ron. Do you want to hear it again, or do you want to talk? No? Okay, next verse. [sings] Freddy Krueger bought some pants Oprah has a turtle farm Peter Piper pee-pee poopy Daddy ate a squirrel
Ron Swanson: Stop this!
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Is that nuclear waste?
Leslie Knope: No, this is my job application from when you hired me.
Ron Swanson: How did you get that?
Leslie Knope: Freedom of Information Act request. But here's the thing. I've never read it. This application contains your very first impressions of me. It's the Rosetta Stone, Ron. The beginning of the whole shebang. This is all you wrote? Three lousy lines?
Ron Swanson: Why would anyone need more than three lines? I'm describing a person, not something complicated like a wooden sailing ship or proper dovetail technique. I forgot what I wrote. Can I hear it?
Leslie Knope: Why don't you read it yourself?
Ron Swanson: "Leslie Knope is an absurd idealist whose political leanings are slightly to the left of Leon Trotsky." So far, so accurate. "If we were to work together, she would undoubtedly drive me insane, and it is possible that we would murder each other."
Leslie Knope: You forgot the last sentence.
Ron Swanson: No, I didn't. I remember that part. It says, "Hire her."
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Honestly, Leslie, it's fine. It was a punctuation mark on a sentence that had already been written. My time in government work was over. Sure, I loved shutting things down and bleeding the rotting beast from the inside.
Leslie Knope: Your metaphors are so beautiful.
Ron Swanson: But it was time for me to leave, and I didn't feel like explaining why to you or anyone. Everything that happened after - the fight we had, not giving you a heads-up when my company took on the Morningstar development and bulldozed the nurse's old house - I do regret that. I had a good run here. But after you and Tom and Donna and April and Terry left, when I looked around this office, nothing was the same.