April Quote #347
Andy: Says here there are 12 closets, three bomb shelters, five dumb waiters, two and three eights baths. No kitchens. It's a fairly standard layout.
April: Cool, is that a staircase to nowhere?
Keg Jeggings: Yes, it is. Good eye.
Andy: What was this place?
Keg Jeggings: Remember the Pawnee doll head factory?
April: This was a doll head factory?
Keg Jeggings: No. This was a holding cell for people who went insane on the assembly line.
Andy: What's behind this door? [gasps] Fire poll.
April: So this place has had zero offers?
Keg Jeggings: People seem to be scared off on account of it being haunted... and disgusting.
[aside to camera:]
Keg Jeggings: After 47 years living here, I decided to move to Orlando to be closer to Disney World.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘2017’ Quotes
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] This land is begging to be a new national park. And it's in my own backyard. This could be my crowning achievement. I could retire. I mean, I wouldn't. I'm gonna work until I'm 100 and then cut back to four days a week. Oh, God, I'm already so bored thinking about that one day off. Maybe I'll go to law school or something.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] That park is my dream. I'm not gonna let it slip away. Who cares if Gryzzl and Ron have more money? I have the most valuable currency in America. A blind, stubborn belief that what I am doing is 100% right.
Quote from Tom
Tom: Who is Tom Haverford? He's a mentor, a lover, a hero. But who is my hero? Simple. It's me. Five years from now.
Janet: Okay, I really only need a correct spelling of your last name.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: You are looking at one of Indiana Business monthly's 35 under 35. I own Pawnee's hottest restaurant, two fast-casual eateries, and the Tommy Chopper. We serve chopped salads out of a decommissioned military helicopter. I'm a mogul now.