Tom Quote #483
Quote from Tom in Are You Better Off?
Tom: So I just wanted to let you know I will not be selling Rent-A-Swag. And you can go tell your client he now has 100 problems? Is it Jay-Z?
Trevor Nelsson: No. But since you're not taking the deal, I should inform you that my client will be moving on to plan B, opening his own store directly across the street from yours.
Tom: Across the street? What kind of store is it gonna be?
Trevor Nelsson: He's calling it "Tommy's Closet." It's a high-end secondhand clothing store where parents can rent clothes for their teens, tweens, and pres, as well as babies, toddlers, grown-ups, and olds.
Tom: But that's my idea and my name.
Trevor Nelsson: So I guess only Domino's is allowed to sell pizza now? It's called capitalism, Mr. Haverford, and you are about to get a free lesson. Only this free lesson is going to cost you.
Tom: So it's not free?
Trevor Nelsson: You're right. That was confusing. This lesson will cost you. Good day.
Tom: This sucks, but I have to admit: It's a pretty baller move. You sure this isn't Diddy?
Trevor Nelsson: It is Diddy.
Tom: I knew it!
Trevor Nelsson: It's not Diddy.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Are You Better Off?’ Quotes
Quote from Donna
Leslie Knope: Donna, help me out. What makes Pawnee so great?
Donna: Cost of living is cheap. In about three years, I will have saved enough to pay off my condo in Seattle.
Ben: You have a condo in Seattle?
Donna: Yes, I like the rain and the fish markets.
Quote from April
Leslie Knope: Let's do an exercise. April, what makes Pawnee the best city in the world?
April: Easy. Most murders per capita. The guillotine was invented here. City Hall is run by the walrus mafia.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Good morning, colleagues, co-workers, friends. Everyone feeling normal... today?
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Here's what happened. I left my sweat shirt at Ron's cabin. When I went back to get it, I found this in the trash: Positive pregnancy test. Side note: I accidentally threw my sweat shirt away. That's why I was digging through the trash. Found that too. Pretty cool. So if my science is correct, one of the five women who were at the cabin - Leslie, Donna, Ann, Mona-Lisa, or April - is pregnant! Can't be April. She would've told me. That leaves four suspects. There's only one man for this job: Burt Macklin, FBI. They said I was retired. They said I was too dangerous for the Pawnee Police Department. Turns out they were right... and wrong. Macklin, you son of a bitch.