Chris Quote #182
Ann: So, Dr. Van Dyne, we took the compatibility test that you recommended, and we didn't do amazing. But I'm sure that happens with a lot of couples, right?
Chris: And it's not like we failed. We got a 58%, which as I'm saying it, sounds very clearly like we failed.
Dr. Van Dyne: Look, there are many ways to judge compatibility. Okay, you know what, let's do a little exercise. I'm gonna say something about your future child, and then you just say the first thing that pops into your mind. Okay? Gender.
Ann: Girl.
Chris: Boy.
Dr. Van Dyne: Okay. Religion.
Chris: Buddhist.
Ann: Whatever he wants.
Chris: Whatever he wants.
Dr. Van Dyne: Um, how 'bout occupation?
Ann: Teacher.
Chris: Six-time Tour de France champion.
Ann: Really?
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Partridge’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.
Quote from Tom
Tom: I don't understand. I was great. I was like Mark Z in The Social "N." My testimony was amazing for your case.
Ron Swanson: But it wasn't the truth. And neither was yours. You even called me a... [whispers] vegetarian. What if that testimony leaks? How will people ever respect me?
April: Ugh, whatever. The truth is stupid. I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying.
Tom: Yeah, lying is all I know. It's how I was able to scrape by on the streets of Bombay and make it on the Indian version of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire and get reunited with the love of my life, Latika.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Andy: Ron, hey, let me be your lawyer. I'll object to everything anyone says, trial will go on forever, you don't have to pay. Problem solved.
Ron Swanson: That's a kind offer, Andrew, but I won't be hiring an attorney. I'll represent myself, as I do in all legal matters and livestock auctions.