Donna Quote #91
Quote from Donna in Correspondents' Lunch
Leslie Knope: First, I'd like you all to check under your chairs. I think you might be surprised and excited by what you find.
Shauna Malwae-Tweep: Is it chocolate?
Leslie Knope: Even better. It's dirt. The EPA has recently reviewed our soil samples, and they determined that we achieved, and I quote, "Minimal acceptable standards." So... not too shabby.
Kim Terlando: Uh, Councilwoman Knope, you've claimed construction will take 18 months, but a source tells me it will be much longer.
Leslie Knope: I would-- I would deny that report.
Kim Terlando: I've also learned that the EPA found midi-chlorians in the soil. How serious is that, exactly?
Leslie Knope: It's very serious, Kim. It's almost as serious as email hacking, which is what you have been doing to me for weeks. [gasps; silence] I really thought you guys would gasp there.
Kim Terlando: That is a baseless accusation.
Leslie Knope: Midi-chlorians are a fictional substance found in the blood of Jedi knights from the movie Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. Which, side-note, was a terrible movie. It almost destroyed the franchise, according to my husband. But that is neither here nor there.
Donna: The point is I sent Councilwoman Knope the fake email about the EPA finding midi-chlorians, an hour ago... As a trap. Into which you have fallen.
Kim Terlando: Well... I have never seen Star Wars, because I was too busy hooking up with guys. Unlike you losers.
Donna: [guffaws] Uh, you wanna compare numbers, Terlando? Get to steppin'.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Correspondents' Lunch’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: I have a press conference about the Pawnee Commons in two hours. So I need to go through every email that I've ever sent, ever. I need to know what they might use against me.
Ron Swanson: You can't hack into a typewriter. That's all I have to say.
Leslie Knope: Can it, Unabomber. This is an emergency.
Quote from April
Ben: Andy, are you okay?
Andy: Oh, I'm fine. It's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired. Also, I can't sleep, I'm overeating, none of my old hobbies interest me.
[aside to camera:]
April: Ever since Andy failed the police academy exam, his self-esteem has hit rock bottom. He's always sad and sweaty. He's usually happy and sweaty.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: Okay, I need more jokes, people. Ben is having his first day at work, so he cannot help me. So I need you guys to pick up the slack.
Ron Swanson: I have a joke for you.
Leslie Knope: Okay.
Ron Swanson: The government in this town is excellent and uses your tax dollars efficiently. [laughs goofily]
Leslie Knope: That's not really a joke, Ron.
Ron Swanson: I disagree. I find it hilarious.