Ben Quote #84
Quote from Ben in The Trial of Leslie Knope
Ethel: "Mr. Wyatt: Chris, for God's sake, would you mind not jumping for a while?. Mr. Trager: Sorry, Ben, but"...
[flashback:]
Chris: This is how I fight depression. Okay, fine. I'll stop.
Ben: Thank you.
Chris: Okay, so you are prepared to resign, effective immediately, and take full responsibility for all the events that transpired at Li'l Sebastian's memorial.
[cutting back and forth:]
Ethel: "Mr. Wyatt: That is correct."
Ben: That is correct.
Ethel: "Mr. Traeger: Okay, fine. This makes me sadder than I previously thought humanly possible, but I accept your resignation. Can I ask you one more question?"
Chris: Was all of this-- all the sneaking around, the scandal, losing your job-- Was it worth it?
Ben: Yes. It was.
Ethel: "Because I love Leslie. I want to be with her. And I don't want to hide the way I feel about her anymore. So, yeah, it was worth it, because I'm in love with Leslie Knope. Mr. Traeger: That was beautiful. I'm literally crying and jumping. Crying noise, crying noise, nose blow. Mr. Wyatt: It's gonna be okay. Mr. Traeger:..."
Chris: [sobbing]
Ben: Oh. Let it out, I guess.
Ethel: "End transcript."
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘The Trial of Leslie Knope’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: April! Listen, I was trying to buy this hand-crafted mahogany wood model of a B-25 Mitchell Panchito aircraft.
April: Aw, for me?
Ron Swanson: Don't sass me. And I went to this website, and this ad popped up that said "Hey, Ron Swanson! Check out this great offer."
April: What's your question?
Ron Swanson: My question is, what the hell?
April: Like, how did they know who you are?
Ron Swanson: Yeah.
April: Okay. Um, there are these things called cookies, where, like you go to a site and buy something, it'll remember you and then create ads for other stuff you might want to buy.
Ron Swanson: So it learns information? About me? That seems like an invasion of privacy.
April: Dude, if you think that's bad, go to Google Earth and type in your address.
[After looking at Google Earth, Ron goes outside and throws his computer in the dumpster]
Quote from Donna
Chris: I have here a receipt from Pawnee Supersuites Motel. Leslie Knope submitted that receipt for reimbursement. Taxpayers' money is not meant to be spent on a romantic getaway.
Leslie Knope: Donna, will you please describe what we were wearing the evening you saw us?
Donna: Um, khakis and button-down shirts, your basic white people clothes.
Leslie Knope: And when you walked into the room, what did it look like? Did it look like anything romantic had happened?
Donna: Oh, hell, no. I have ruined my share of hotel rooms, and trust me, nothing sexual happened in that room. It kind of looked like an office.
Quote from Chris
Chris: Leslie Knope! Good morning! It is snowing outside. Isn't that great?
Leslie Knope: You seem like you're in a good mood.
Chris: Actually, I'm quite miserable. I admire and respect you, and dragging you through an ethics trial is filling me with sadness. I have never felt so low.
Leslie Knope: Well, you're radiating pure joy.
Chris: I went to my herbalist and got two B-12 shots. And then I ate an unreasonable amount of St. John's wort, and my herbalist took this weird bee pollen paste rubbed it around my gums. And now my mouth feels like a spaceship.
[aside to camera:]
Chris: This is stressful. And stress leads to depression. And if I don't maintain an extremely high dosages of herbal remedies, I will get very depressed. Oh, God. It's happening right now.