Andy Quote #204
Andy: So a little birdie told me it's your birthday coming up. How about a free birthday shoe shine?
Ron Swanson: What did this little birdie tell you is going to happen for my birthday?
Andy: Oh, nice try, Ron. You're not getting anything out of me.
Ron Swanson: Andrew, please.
Andy: Ron, look, I love you like a father who's not that much older than me... like a young Uncle... or like, uh, you were my camp counselor, but we're adults, so we hang out, and it's not weird, you know. Or, actually, here's what it is. You're my Lacrosse coach.
Ron Swanson: I get it. I get it. What's the point?
Andy: Well, coach, Leslie swore me to secrecy, so I can't say anything. I owe her so much. I can't ruin it for her.
Ron Swanson: Well, I respect that. See you later.
Andy: Okay... Not if I see you first, Uncle Ron. [laughs] And I probably will, 'cause Leslie assigned me to the kidnap squad.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Eagleton’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: [aside to camera] People in Eagleton are straight up mean to us. I would never set foot over there. But it's the only place that I can get my bumble and bumble hair care products, so I'm there every eight days.
Quote from Donna
Tom: They put up a fence.
Leslie Knope: Who? [gasps] No!
Andy: What's that?
Leslie Knope: There's a small park on the line between Pawnee and Eagleton, and...
Tom: Last night Eagleton put up a fence around their side to keep us disgusting Pawnee hobos off their precious land. There's even a security guard. You got to show Eagleton I.D. to get in.
Donna: Eagleton is a bunch of rich snobs. And that's coming from someone who has a Mercedes with a Harman Kardon Logic 7 surround-sound system.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Happy Birthday, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Ann said you had a big party... sombreros, karaoke.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, I did that for Ann. Why would I throw Ron Swanson an Ann Perkins party?
Ron Swanson: What about the giant list of things April was doing?
Leslie Knope: That was just a list of ways to mess with you. She do 'em all?
Ron Swanson: She did indeed.
Leslie Knope: So I have rented Bridge on the River Kwai and The Dirty Dozen. [cork pops] Artie from security is outside the door, so no one will bother you. And a cab will be here whenever you're ready to take you home.
Ron Swanson: Thank you.