Ron Swanson Quote #40
Quote from Ron Swanson in Ron and Tammy
Leslie Knope: Why don't you just break up with her?
Ron Swanson: I don't think I can. We would just end up naked, and I'd give her your lot, and my house, and God knows what else. I have no control over my actions. It's like she's crawled up inside of me.
Leslie Knope: Oh, God, Ron, I don't wanna hear about your disgusting sex anymore. Okay? Now sack up. You are Ron freakin' Swanson.
Ron Swanson: Not around her, I'm not. It took years of intense, focused hatred to get over her, and now I've undone all that great work. You've got to help me break up with her.
Leslie Knope: I don't think I should get involved in this.
Ron Swanson: Oh, now you don't wanna get involved? "It's just coffee, Ron." "She's changed, Ron." "I let Mark nail me and we're still friends."
Leslie Knope: Okay. I would never use those words. I never said... Point taken. Let's go dump your ex.
Ron Swanson: Thank you.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Ron and Tammy’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: Okay. I think you should play this one cool, man. Be the grown-up. Take the high road.
Mark: Yeah.
Tom: Ann's a classy chick. If you get down in the mud, you're just gonna lose her respect.
Mark: You've just made a surprising amount of sense, Tom. Thank you.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: I've never taken the high road. But I tell other people to. 'Cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: I see. I knew that you had two ex-wives named Tammy, so I was hoping that there was one that you got along with and...
Ron Swanson: Nope. I hate them both.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rushed to my side, so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time. Would I get married again? Oh, absolutely. If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Of course. That bitch of an ex-wife is working for the library now. That is perfect. The worst person in the world working at the worst place in the world.
Leslie Knope: I have to go talk to her. And you got to give me something I can use. Does she have any weaknesses?
Ron Swanson: No.
Leslie Knope: What do you mean, no? Everybody has a weakness.
Ron Swanson: Not machines. I honestly believe that she was programmed by someone from the future to come back and destroy all happiness.