Mark Quote #21
Quote from Mark in Practice Date
Ann: Hey. Can I help you at 11:48 p. m?
Mark: Okay, here's the whole thing. Here are all my skeletons. When I was 16, I had sex with a married woman.
Ann: Right.
Mark: When I was in college, I smoked a decent amount of pot.
Ann: Uh-huh.
Mark: Nothing insane. When I tell you what...
Ann: What the hell are you doing?
Mark: What I'm doing is, I'm trying to tell you that I've done some stuff that I'm not very proud of. But I like you. So, I would rather you not find out about this from anyone but me. This was a bad idea.
Ann: No, no. It's fine. I get what this is, and why you did it.
Mark: Is there anything that you would like to share from your past, to sort of balance the scales?
Ann: Yeah. One time this guy rang my doorbell at midnight, to brag about getting laid when he was 16, so I shot him.
Mark: Good night.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Practice Date’ Quotes
Quote from Leslie Knope
Ann: Leslie, relax.
Leslie Knope: Yeah. Okay? I just have a few more questions for you, Ann. What if he shows up with another woman? What if one of my sleeves catches on fire and it spreads rapidly? What if instead of Tic Tacs, I accidentally pop a couple of Ambien and I have to keep punching my leg to stay awake?
Ann: Those are all insane hypotheticals. And I promise you they won't happen.
Leslie Knope: They have happened. All of these have happened to me.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: No, there's more. One time, I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine. Once I went out with a guy who wore 3D glasses the entire evening. Oh, one time I rode in a sidecar on a guy's motorcycle, and the sidecar detached and went down a flight of stairs. Another time, I went to a really boring movie with a guy, and while I was asleep, he tried to pull out one of my teeth. I literally woke up with his hand in my mouth. We went out a couple times after that, but then he got weird.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I've established a scientifically perfect 10-point scale of human beauty. Wendy is a 7.4, which is way too high for Tom, who is a 3.8. Ten is tennis legend Steffi Graf.
Quote from Donna
Tom: Hey, Donna. Let me ask you something. Do you hate black people?
Donna: Excuse me?
Tom: 'Cause, apparently, in 1988, you donated money to the presidential campaign for David Duke.
April: The KKK guy?
Donna: I got a phone call. They said he would lower taxes.