Leslie Knope Quote #134

Quote from Leslie Knope in The Stakeout

Leslie Knope: I swear to God, it actually... It was there...
Dave Sanderson: These are carrots.
Leslie Knope: Duh! You don't think I know the difference between carrots and marijuana?
Dave Sanderson: Is that the house there, where your best friend lives? Where she saw the van from?
Leslie Knope: Yeah.
Dave Sanderson: Okay. I get it.
Leslie Knope: What?
Dave Sanderson: Well, you wanted to check up on your friend and that guy, your ex, so you made up a story about weed so you could stake out their date.
Leslie Knope: No, I did not. There actually was weed here...
Dave Sanderson: It's okay. I think it's kind of cute.
[aside to camera:]
Dave Sanderson: I like Miss Knope. I liked her. I got to say, I... When I first met her I didn't care much for her, because like 99% of the people in any given day of my life, she was very belligerent and disagreeable. Miss Knope was attractive to me. As a man, I was attracted to her in her demeanor. I was attracted to her in a sexual manner that was appropriate. Can we not... I don't want to talk about this anymore.

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 ‘The Stakeout’ Quotes

Quote from Tom

Leslie Knope: You're not from here, right?
Tom: No. I'm from South Carolina.
Leslie Knope: But you moved to South Carolina from where?
Tom: My mother's uterus.
Leslie Knope: But you were conceived in Libya, right?
Tom: Wow. No. I was conceived in America. My parents are Indian.
Leslie Knope: Where did the name 'Haverford' come from?
Tom: My birth name is Darwish Zubair Ismail Gani, and I changed it to Tom Haverford because, you know, brown guys with funny-sounding Muslim names don't make it really far in politics.
Leslie Knope: What about Barack Obama?
Tom: Okay, yeah, fine, Barack Obama. If I knew a dude named Barack Obama was going to be elected President, yeah, maybe I wouldn't have changed it.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: I have stakeout supplies. This is stuff that we're probably going to need. We have notepads, pencils and pencil case. Shakable whipped cream. Cameras. Pork. And candy necklaces. It's like we're real police. And I made us a mix CD. It's all filled with songs about people watching people. It's mostly Sting. And look, I put our faces on there.
Tom: It's really cool.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] I would like to be President someday, so, no, I have not smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once. At a party in college. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable, actually. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there wasn't any pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.