Leslie Knope Quote #1547
April: Hey. I moved our meetings to tomorrow because you are drunk and hungover simultaneously at 2:00 in the afternoon.
Leslie Knope: Yeah. Good call.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Aha! Jackpot. You know what this is, Ron? This is a mix I made for the summer Parks barbecue, 2007. I asked everyone in the Parks Department to choose one song. You chose Buddy by Willie Nelson, a fact I remember because my mind is a steel trap of friendship nuggets. But I am not going to play your choice. I'm gonna play Jerry's choice.
[Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" plays]
Leslie Knope: Ooh, that's right. And I'm gonna sing along. And I'm gonna maintain eye contact the whole time. And guess what. I don't know the words. [sings] Harry Truman was a guy America, Red China All the countries, other people Everyone is fun Joe Mantegna, Ian McKellen I have to buy a new toaster This is awesome, you're so stupid Jumping up and down. [talks] Whoo! Oh, I got it on repeat. Come on, Ron. Do you want to hear it again, or do you want to talk? No? Okay, next verse. [sings] Freddy Krueger bought some pants Oprah has a turtle farm Peter Piper pee-pee poopy Daddy ate a squirrel
Ron Swanson: Stop this!
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Is that nuclear waste?
Leslie Knope: No, this is my job application from when you hired me.
Ron Swanson: How did you get that?
Leslie Knope: Freedom of Information Act request. But here's the thing. I've never read it. This application contains your very first impressions of me. It's the Rosetta Stone, Ron. The beginning of the whole shebang. This is all you wrote? Three lousy lines?
Ron Swanson: Why would anyone need more than three lines? I'm describing a person, not something complicated like a wooden sailing ship or proper dovetail technique. I forgot what I wrote. Can I hear it?
Leslie Knope: Why don't you read it yourself?
Ron Swanson: "Leslie Knope is an absurd idealist whose political leanings are slightly to the left of Leon Trotsky." So far, so accurate. "If we were to work together, she would undoubtedly drive me insane, and it is possible that we would murder each other."
Leslie Knope: You forgot the last sentence.
Ron Swanson: No, I didn't. I remember that part. It says, "Hire her."
Quote from New Slogan
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Grant Larsen has offered me a chance to oversee a branch office of the national park service. This is like the parks equivalent of Bruce Springsteen pulling Courtney Cox onstage. I mean, one minute you're just a regular girl in the crowd, and the next minute you're dancing 10 feet away from freakin' Max Weinberg!
Quote from Doppelgangers
Ann: First of all, this is Evelyn.
Leslie Knope: Oh, hello.
Ann: She is my Health Department counterpart from Eagleton.
Evelyn: There really wasn't a ton of work for me there. Eagletonians are very healthy.
Leslie Knope: Oh, well, this might be a very interesting challenge for you, because Pawnee has the very first documented case of mega-diabetes. And the only know occurrence of Lou Gehrig's other disease. We've been written about in textbooks.