Ben Quote #307
Quote from Ben in William Henry Harrison
Ben: Please. Please. For the love of all that is holy, both of you, please sign this form. Not that it matters. I'm definitely gonna wake up tomorrow morning with these same forms for you to sign because I've died somehow and now I'm a ghost living in Purgatory until I complete my unfinished business.
Leslie Knope: Okay, I'm not signing anything he's signing.
Ben: Did you just hear what I said? No, of course, you didn't, because I'm a ghost.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘William Henry Harrison’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Roscoe: Gryzzl is an outsider here in Pawnee, so a local celebrity is gonna make everyone feel more at ease with us. And that's why we called on you home court chillers to frack your braniums.
Tom: Since we're locals, they want us to think of ideas.
Ron Swanson: I got it from context.
Tom: Okay.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: I have no interest in consorting with celebrities. The only celebrities I recognize are furniture maker Garry Knox Bennett, designer of the notorious 16 Penny Nail Cabinet, and Magnus, the five-by-five bull elk I saw near my cabin two years ago. Took a shot at the bastard and he stuck his antlers through the door of my meat shed. One day, Magnus, I will wear you as a jacket.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Bill: Hi, Leslie. Bill Haggerty from the Pawnee Historical Society.
Leslie Knope: Oh, yes, Bill. I remember you.
Bill: I heard you were looking for information on the Newport land, and I have some very exciting news for you. It concerns William Henry Harrison.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: We claim William Henry Harrison as a hero because he was the first governor of the Indiana territories, and then President of the United States. We're also a little ashamed of him because he didn't wear a coat at his inauguration, caught a bad cold and died 32 days later. He's an embarrassing footnote. But he's our embarrassing footnote.
Quote from Jerry
Ben: Could you please focus? It'll take two minutes. And all signatures need to be notarized, and I really don't want to have to schedule two different notary appointments.
Jerry: Uh, not to eavesdrop, but I have a crazy story. I recently had a bit of a health scare, just a couple weeks in the hospital.
Andy: Oh, God. This story's terrible so far.
Jerry: Anyway, I became really motivated once I got out to finally live life to the fullest. So...I fulfilled one of my lifelong dreams. And I became a notary public. So if I go with you, Ron and Leslie can sign the document separately.