Mitch Savner: Seems like things are a little chaotic.
Tom: No, no, everything is perfect. This is April. She's gonna be taking care of you tonight.
April: Hello, welcome to Tommy's Bistro. Today we have spaghetti, linguine, fettuccini, ravioli, rigatoni, bucatini, lasagna.
Mitch Savner: Could you repeat that?
April: Spaghetti, linguine, fettuccini, ravioli, rigatoni, Ferrari, Lamborghini, bucatini, lasagna.
Mitch Savner: Can I see a menu?
April: We had to throw our menus away because they are covered with pictures of Larry's dog rectum.
Jerry: Great news. Lord Sheldon's gonna make it. Yeah, just have to apply a salve to his anus every hour for the rest of his life, but... Oh, enjoy your meal.

Andy: Last chance, Ron. The slots are finalized, but I can squeeze in ten minutes if a certain mister... [whispering] Duke Silver wanted to come out. Come on, Ron, it's gonna be so fun.
Ron Swanson: Thank you, Andrew, but fun or not, playing music is something I like to keep private, along with my family, my conversations, and my whereabouts at all times.

Tom: We have ten tables booked for the soft opening. It's all friends and family, so hopefully they'll go easy on us. How's it looking, Ron? Maybe speed it up a little?
Ron Swanson: This is not government work. As such, I treat it with care and attention.
Tom: Okay, but also, go faster.