Ben Quote #291
Quote from Ben in One in 8,000
Ben: Guys, come on, now. This is signed by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Just think about all their great songs, covering everything from the culture of Southern California to drug use in Southern California.
Herman Lerpiss: I'll bid 30 bucks.
Ben: Okay. This is easily worth $500. Come on. Please, anyone. We're just trying to raise some money for this concert, so no one gets stressed out.
Herman Lerpiss: Fine. 50 and another win for Old Herman.
Ben: Why would you erase the signatures?
Herman Lerpiss: I'm more of a Jack Johnson guy.
Ben: Okay, give it back.
Herman Lerpiss: If you want it so bad, bid on it.
Ben: I don't like the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It's not even the original lineup.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘One in 8,000’ Quotes
Quote from April
Ben: So what do we got so far? We need big-ticket items.
April: I got the Red Hot Chili Peppers to send us a signed guitar.
Ben: That's great, April. How'd you do that?
April: It's a long story, but the short version is, I'm currently catfishing Anthony Kiedis.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Okay, there's still plenty of ways to raise money for the concert, right? Maybe we'll win the lottery. I mean, hey, you're looking at a woman who just hit triple cherries in her uterus.
Ben: We're screwed.
Leslie Knope: No, we're not, we have three weeks until the concert. It'll be fine.
Ben: No, not the concert. The triple cherries. I mean, of course it's the most amazing and wonderful thing to ever happen, but, okay, I am an accountant, and I am looking a cold, hard facts. Raising three kids is going to cost $2 million.
Leslie Knope: Babe, our kids will be geniuses. They'll get scholarships. Half of my tuition was paid for by the Indiana scholarship for pretty blondes who like to read. It's now called the Virginia Woolf prize. Different time.
Quote from Donna
Ron Swanson: What are you doing?
Donna: I'm getting a picture of you volunteering at a public elementary school in case I ever need to blackmail you.