April Quote #339
Quote from April in One in 8,000
April: Thirsty there, big guy?
Jerry: Well, jeez, yes. Thank you so much. Do you remember the time when you put sleeping pills in my soda? I fell right over in the middle of a town hall meeting.
April: Mm, no. I don't remember that.
Jerry: You made a video of it and showed it at my birthday party. Yes, it went over really big.
April: Well, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
Jerry: That's very sweet. Yeah, um, I have got an itch that I have not been able to get to all day, and even against the wall, nothing will do it. Would you mind doing that?
April: No, not at all.
Jerry: Just--if you could, like-- okay, go up. Go up the back. [groans]
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘One in 8,000’ Quotes
Quote from April
Ben: So what do we got so far? We need big-ticket items.
April: I got the Red Hot Chili Peppers to send us a signed guitar.
Ben: That's great, April. How'd you do that?
April: It's a long story, but the short version is, I'm currently catfishing Anthony Kiedis.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Okay, there's still plenty of ways to raise money for the concert, right? Maybe we'll win the lottery. I mean, hey, you're looking at a woman who just hit triple cherries in her uterus.
Ben: We're screwed.
Leslie Knope: No, we're not, we have three weeks until the concert. It'll be fine.
Ben: No, not the concert. The triple cherries. I mean, of course it's the most amazing and wonderful thing to ever happen, but, okay, I am an accountant, and I am looking a cold, hard facts. Raising three kids is going to cost $2 million.
Leslie Knope: Babe, our kids will be geniuses. They'll get scholarships. Half of my tuition was paid for by the Indiana scholarship for pretty blondes who like to read. It's now called the Virginia Woolf prize. Different time.
Quote from Donna
Ron Swanson: What are you doing?
Donna: I'm getting a picture of you volunteering at a public elementary school in case I ever need to blackmail you.