Tom Quote #571
Tom: My life is over. I'm officially old and uncool. Might as well start wearing a plaid shirt and a tie and khakis and whatever shoes you're wearing.
Ben: Look, the fact that you don't know what high schoolers are into doesn't make you uncool. It makes you a normal human adult. You haven't had time to keep up 'cause the last few years, you started two different businesses.
Tom: I guess that's true. Richard Branson and Mark Cuban are too busy making deals to keep up with what the kids are into. How else do you explain their terrible haircuts?
Ben: And, hey, you may be old, but you'll never be as old as me.
Tom: Yeah. You're old as [bleep]. Thanks, Ben.
Ben: Glad I could help.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Prom’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Ben: All right, let's go over our set list.
Tom: Set list? No need.
Ben: So, what, you're just gonna put your iPod on shuffle?
Tom: No, but I could. You want to know why?
Ben: [sighs] Because every single song you own is a banger?
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Every song I download has to pass a series of rigorous tests to answer one simple question: Is it a banger? How many beats per minute? How many drops? How dope are the drops? Were any acoustic instruments used? If so, it is not a banger. I once accidentally downloaded a Lumineers song. I had to throw away my whole computer just to be safe.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Allison's father owns the hardware store I've been going to since before Allison was even born. What brings you to the festering putrid stink hole on the armpit of freedom?
Allison: Um, Leslie was just telling me about your summer internship, and I was thinking about taking it.
Ron Swanson: [laughs] Oh, no, no, no, no. No. I respect your father too much to let his daughter work for free for the government. Why don't you get a paying job for the summer?
Leslie Knope: Why don't you shut your mustache?
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I attended prom with Susan Hofler. Picked her up in my truck, we slow-danced to a Merle Haggard song, and then I left early to go to my shift at the quarry. I was 12 years old. Never went again. Felt like I had outgrown it.