Andy Quote #475

Quote from Andy in Prom

Andy: Hi, Pawnee High. As your prom king, I'm your ruler. [laughter] Silence! My first decree of power is to declare that the prom queen shall be my wife, April Ludgate, who is the best thing that's ever happened to me who came to prom even though she hates it. Give me this. Always next year.
Lucy: No, there isn't. I'm a senior.
Principal Russell: This is your wife? How old are you?
April: He's 33, and I'm 47/immortal.
Principal Russell: Get out.
Andy: High school forever!

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 ‘Prom’ Quotes

Quote from Tom

Ben: All right, let's go over our set list.
Tom: Set list? No need.
Ben: So, what, you're just gonna put your iPod on shuffle?
Tom: No, but I could. You want to know why?
Ben: [sighs] Because every single song you own is a banger?
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Every song I download has to pass a series of rigorous tests to answer one simple question: Is it a banger? How many beats per minute? How many drops? How dope are the drops? Were any acoustic instruments used? If so, it is not a banger. I once accidentally downloaded a Lumineers song. I had to throw away my whole computer just to be safe.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: Allison's father owns the hardware store I've been going to since before Allison was even born. What brings you to the festering putrid stink hole on the armpit of freedom?
Allison: Um, Leslie was just telling me about your summer internship, and I was thinking about taking it.
Ron Swanson: [laughs] Oh, no, no, no, no. No. I respect your father too much to let his daughter work for free for the government. Why don't you get a paying job for the summer?
Leslie Knope: Why don't you shut your mustache?

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I attended prom with Susan Hofler. Picked her up in my truck, we slow-danced to a Merle Haggard song, and then I left early to go to my shift at the quarry. I was 12 years old. Never went again. Felt like I had outgrown it.