Tom Quote #550

Quote from Tom in The Wall

Tom: Okay, how about this one? Lasik for fingernails? Cut your fingernails once, never have to cut 'em again. All we need is a complicated laser I have no idea how to build.
Ben: Seems impossible.
Tom: All right. Uh-oh! "Saltweens!" Saltines for tweens.
Ben: Seems... unnecessary?

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 ‘The Wall’ Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: Guys, get in here! Ron has a baby!
Andy: Oh, Ron, cool baby.
Ron Swanson: Thank you, Andrew. Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my son, John middle name redacted Swanson. John was born some time ago, weighing multiple pounds and several ounces. Much like his father, he is a fan of silence. Please keep your voices down.

Quote from Tom

Ben: Okay, this is the really exciting part. We buy tetrachloroethylene at $1.60 a gallon, but we sell it back at 2.38 a gallon. Now I know what you're thinking. What if it's a cleaner who wants to buy glycol ethers?
Tom: Ben, stop! This is so boring! This is like listening to a TED talk by the color beige.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] In the time I've worked here, I've taken great pains to see as little of this building as possible. Turns out the third floor is silent, empty, and completely free of government work. I can't think of anything more beautiful to share with my son.