TV Quotes

April: I'm gonna tell you a secret about everyone else's job.
Andy: Okay.
April: No one knows what they're doing. I don't know how to run an animal control department. Half the documents I get I put right into the shredder because they're so boring.
Andy: But you seem like you do know what you're doing.
April: Yeah, I seem like it. Deep down, everyone is just faking it until they figure it out. And you will too, because you are awesome and everyone else sucks.

[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Tonight, I am throwing Ben his dream birthday party, a roller skating bash with an early '90s theme. Ben lives for the early '90s. The music, the fashion. It's his favorite era. As for the roller skating...
[separately to camera:]
Ben: I have a thing for women in skates. Okay? Everyone has a thing, and that's mine. As far as things go, it's pretty innocuous. Could be one of those dudes that kisses mannequins or whatever, but I like a woman in skates. A lot.

Man: Excuse me. I had a meeting with Ron Swanson yesterday, but I had a little car trouble.
April: Sorry, he's busy right now.
Man: Oh. Uh, well. Well, can I reschedule?
April: Sure. Hmm. How about June 50th?
Man: Sorry?
April: Do you think you could come back today at 2:65? He's available then.
Man: What is going on?
April: Looks like the only other day he has open is March-tember one-teenth. Does that work, sir? [phone rings; April hangs up]

Ben: Hey, April. How's it going?
April: Fine. Except hearing Joan talk about her passion and doing what you really love, like, totally freaked me out. Eight years ago, I accepted a random internship at the Parks Department, and then Leslie told me to do a bunch of stuff, and now I'm executive director of regional whatever... I don't even know what it means, and I never even asked myself if I even really like it. I mean, it's like what is my purpose in life? What do I even care about? My insides are dying.
Ben: So, not fine.
April: I don't know what to do. I have to quit.
Ben: To do what?
April: I'm just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross.