Tom Quote #503
Quote from Tom in Gin It Up!
Tom: So, those are the forms. You filled 'em out. Great. April's gonna file these. Hey, when is the thing you're doing in the park? I'd love to come by and maybe help administer vaccines?
Nadia: Oh. Are you a doctor, somehow?
Tom: No.
Nadia: No follow-up to that? Okay, great. Um, well, I'm not actually gonna be attending the event, so if you could just give me the permit, so that I can go home to Indianapolis and never come back here?
[aside to camera:]
Tom: I am in love with Nadia Whatever-her-last-name-is, and I'm gonna keep her here, using the most powerful weapon I have: bureaucratic incompetence.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Gin It Up!’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Death does not scare me. What I am worried about is spoiling my children. I don't want 'em to be the kind of people who never work, live off their trust funds, who buy their wooden furniture. I will leave my children $50 apiece for the cab home from my funeral and a steak dinner, end of discussion.
Ben: Okay. I mean, look, it doesn't matter how much money you leave your kids. What matters is that you teach them the right values. But, if something horrible happens, and you want your kids to be left alone with no safety net, just so they can learn some kind of weird lesson, then, by all means, leave your fortune to the wild boar who gores you to death.
Ron Swanson: I'd never lose to a boar. [dart hits board]
Quote from Ron Swanson
Trevor Nelsson: Mr. Swanson, let's begin by filling out this form, listing your assets and liabilities.
Ron Swanson: Nice try. I'm not telling you how much money I have, where it's hidden, or which precious metals and/or gemstones it may or may not take the form of.