Ron Swanson: Who or what is Penny Saver?
Tom: It's a free circular with a bunch of coupons in it.
Ron Swanson: This was sent to Ron Swanson at Diane's address, where I've lived for less than a month. How is that possible? This is an extreme invasion of privacy.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: The right to privacy is very important to me. My family has had a single P.O. box for several generations. We only ever subscribe to two magazines, Reader's Digest and Ebony. Ebony was due to a clerical error, but it ended up being an interesting year of reading.

Ron Swanson: I don't see what the problem is. I will give you a certain amount of gold in exchange for a recreational vehicle.
Earl: I still need an address for insurance purposes.
Ron Swanson: This will be my new home. The address is wherever it is parked.

Todd: Leslie, you're down 15 points in the latest poll for the recall election. What can you do to make up the deficit?
Leslie Knope: I'll tell you what I'd do if I was an Eagletonian. I'd pop a Xanax and ask my butler to help me out. [laughter] I mean, I'm not saying that Eagletonians are out of touch. But when you tell 'em it's time to change their oil, they ask, "Extra virgin or white truffle?" [laughter] Thanks, guys. I'll see ya at the game. Unless, of course, you're an Eagletonian, and then you'll be too busy polishing your monocle at the caviar store. Knope out. [microphone feedback; laughter]