Tom Quote #474
Tom: Uh, Perkins, sit down. I just heard that you and Traeger might be getting back together.
Ann: Yeah, it's funny, right? I mean, we're already planning on having a baby together. We're not quite a couple but--
Tom: Yeah. Cool. Congrats. Listen, I need your help. My girlfriend is crazy.
Ann: You say that about every girl you date. You said that about me.
Tom: Calm down, Ann. You're proving my point. Seriously, Mona-Lisa is legit insane. She once jumped out of a moving car to buy a Nicki Minaj poster.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Hey! What the hell is this?
Ron Swanson: I'm guessing it's my latest budget cut proposal based on your rage sweat.
Leslie Knope: First of all, I am rage glowing. Second, you wanna cut funding for the Pawnee Palms Public Putt-Putt? What did the P.P.P.P.P. ever do to you?
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Ron is very anti-government, and he has that philosophy, but there are just certain things that you don't cut. Schools, police, mini-golf, merry-go-rounds, parades, gazebo repair, roads and bridges, whatever. Pretty gardens, hummingbird feeders.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: I believe in cutting useless government projects. I also believe in cutting useful projects, future projects, and past projects. The Hoover Dam is a travesty.
Leslie Knope: You also believe in making furniture. Why don't you go solder a chair instead?
Ron Swanson: Do you expect me to make a chair out of transistor chips and small wires?
Quote from Andy
Andy: Oh, hey, everybody. My name is Andy Dwyer. You probably know me as the artist formerly known as the lead singer of Mouse Rat. Well, after tonight, you'll only know me as the former artist formerly known as the lead singer of Mouse Rat. I'm retiring from music. This is my swan song.
[plays guitar and sings] Once I was a golden swan Swan of a man Now that swan's name was Andy And he started a rock and roll band He made incredible nachos That everybody claimed they loved And then the band mates dicked him over With a massive rock and roll shove This is my swan song Watch me fly.