Ron Swanson: I believe in cutting useless government projects. I also believe in cutting useful projects, future projects, and past projects. The Hoover Dam is a travesty.
Leslie Knope: You also believe in making furniture. Why don't you go solder a chair instead?
Ron Swanson: Do you expect me to make a chair out of transistor chips and small wires?

Leslie Knope: I have six things to say to you. One, you drive me nuts with your rigid code of honor. Two, congratulations, putt-putt has been defunded. And only because Jamm was going to double-cross you, and I made him stick to his word. Three, I am furious that putt-putt has been defunded. Four, I am sorry that I said the gorilla's blood was on your hands. 'Twas Leslie killed the beast. Five, Putt-putt is for children, and they are the future, and I have already written a ballot measure that will save it, and it will pass. And six, your rigid code of honor, which drives me nuts, makes you a wonderful human being, and I am proud to call you my friend, and don't ever change.
Ron Swanson: You want a drink?
Leslie Knope: Very much.

Andy: Oh, hey, everybody. My name is Andy Dwyer. You probably know me as the artist formerly known as the lead singer of Mouse Rat. Well, after tonight, you'll only know me as the former artist formerly known as the lead singer of Mouse Rat. I'm retiring from music. This is my swan song.
[plays guitar and sings] Once I was a golden swan Swan of a man Now that swan's name was Andy And he started a rock and roll band He made incredible nachos That everybody claimed they loved And then the band mates dicked him over With a massive rock and roll shove This is my swan song Watch me fly.