Ann Quote #178
Chris: Look, I know that this is just a silly quiz, but it is so discouraging to do so poorly.
Ann: Well, look, this is not the only way to see if we would be good parents. I know it's a little lame, but I bought a dozen eggs at the grocery store, and I thought we could do that thing where we pretend the egg is a kid for a day.
Chris: That's a great idea!
Ann: I don't see them. Oh, my God. I left them at the grocery store.
Chris: Oh, boy.
Ann: I bought 12 babies, and then I immediately abandoned them at a Kroger's.
Chris: Look, we can use anything as a baby. I mean, we could use this mug. [mug smashes]
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Partridge’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.
Quote from Tom
Tom: I don't understand. I was great. I was like Mark Z in The Social "N." My testimony was amazing for your case.
Ron Swanson: But it wasn't the truth. And neither was yours. You even called me a... [whispers] vegetarian. What if that testimony leaks? How will people ever respect me?
April: Ugh, whatever. The truth is stupid. I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying.
Tom: Yeah, lying is all I know. It's how I was able to scrape by on the streets of Bombay and make it on the Indian version of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire and get reunited with the love of my life, Latika.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Andy: Ron, hey, let me be your lawyer. I'll object to everything anyone says, trial will go on forever, you don't have to pay. Problem solved.
Ron Swanson: That's a kind offer, Andrew, but I won't be hiring an attorney. I'll represent myself, as I do in all legal matters and livestock auctions.