Ben Quote #191
Leslie Knope: Ben? Oh, my God.
Leslie Knope: Are you okay?
Ben: I think I'm giving birth. Is that possible? No, right?
Leslie Knope: No, no, no, no.
Ben: Oh, God!
Stephanie Wyatt: I'll call an ambulance.
Ben: Oh, God! It's twins! I'm having twins!
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.
Quote from Tom
Tom: I don't understand. I was great. I was like Mark Z in The Social "N." My testimony was amazing for your case.
Ron Swanson: But it wasn't the truth. And neither was yours. You even called me a... [whispers] vegetarian. What if that testimony leaks? How will people ever respect me?
April: Ugh, whatever. The truth is stupid. I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying.
Tom: Yeah, lying is all I know. It's how I was able to scrape by on the streets of Bombay and make it on the Indian version of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire and get reunited with the love of my life, Latika.
Quote from The Master Plan
Leslie Knope: I'm sorry that I yelled at you. All three times. But I don't think you know anything about my department. Have you ever been part of a government body before?
Ben: I have, yeah. Small town called Partridge, Minnesota.
Leslie Knope: Why does that sound familiar? You're Benji Wyatt?
Ben: I am.
[aside to camera:]
Ben: When I was 18, I ran for mayor of my small town. And won. A little bit of anti-establishment voter rebellion, I guess. Here's the thing, though, about 18 year-olds. They're idiots. So I pretty much ran the place into the ground after two months and got impeached. The worst part was, my parents grounded me.
Quote from Flu Season
Leslie Knope: The time is now. The place is Pawnee. Let's make history. [applause]
[aside to camera:]
Ben: That was amazing. That was a flu-ridden Michael Jordan at the '97 NBA finals. That was... Kirk Gibson hobbling up to the plate and hitting a homer off of Dennis Eckersley. That was... That was Leslie Knope.