Chris Quote #176
Chris: All these kids have fathers and mothers who have birthed them and are guiding them through life.
Ben: Yep, that's how it works. How are you feeling? Did you make your dad-cision yet?
Chris: I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I'm going to do.
[aside to camera:]
Chris: Ann Perkins asked me if I would like to donate sperm, so she can have a baby. It's a battle between my primal desire to bring a child into this world and my paralyzing fear of negatively affecting any living thing.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Bailout’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: Go ahead, Ron. Let me have it. Oh, wait, I'll do it for you. [as Ron] I told you so, Leslie. This is what happens when the government interferes with business. Government is bad, business is good. Free market. [babbles goofily]
Ron Swanson: Capitalism is the only way, Leslie. It moves our country forward. It's what makes America great. And England okay and France terrible.
Quote from Jerry
Ben: Okay, so you're really gonna say no to Ann?
Chris: I care about Ann very deeply, but... I just don't know if I'm cut out to be a dad.
Jerry: You know, Chris, every parent makes mistakes. I mean, lord knows I've made plenty. But it's the small victories that keep you going. When you see your little one take her first step or... or graduate college, oh, my God, it just makes it all worth it. [chuckles] And another thing is if-- If, like-- If I-- [exhales] You know, and then your kid's-- because you're like--vrrrr-- I don't know. And everyone's like, "Oh." [babbles] Oh, I'm sorry, guys. I--no one ever lets me talk this long. I just got lost.
Chris: It was a beautiful point. And very well said, right up until that moment that you started babbling incoherently.
Quote from Chris
Chris: I made everything worse. If Tom were a bag of flour, that flour would never grow up to be a happy, well-adjusted loaf of bread. Much less a bran muffin, which is the highest honor that flour can achieve.