Leslie Knope: What are you losers doing for your bachelor party?
Chris: I told Ben he could do whatever he wants. Sky is the limit. We have Haverford, Swanson, Dwyer, Jerry forced his way in there somehow, things are bound to get crazy.
[cut to:]
Chris: The game is Settlers of Catan. The object is be the first to build a civilization on this fictional island.
Tom: I can't believe this is what you want to do for your bachelor party.
Ben: Look, guys, we don't have to play this game if you don't want to. I mean, I'm nationally ranked, so it isn't even really fair.

April: Is this gonna be one of those cool bachelorette parties where things get out of control and we murder someone, and then we all have to take a blood oath to never reveal our secret?
Ann: No.
April: Then I might have to leave early.

Bartender: Here's your Bud light.
Andy: I ordered a beer.
Bartender: That is a beer. And here's your Nimbus Martini. May I go ahead and chisel your aromasphere?
Tom: Please!
Ron Swanson: This is the wrong way to consume alcohol.