Tom Quote #414

Quote from Tom in Pawnee Commons

Tom: Friends, former lovers, acquaintances, Jerry, I introduce you to the future home of... Rent-A-Swag! Yikes.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Much like women in '90s stand-up comedy routines, Tommy be shopping. I started a business where I rent my fancy clothes to teens so their parents don't have to buy them nice things they'll just grow out of. So if you see a 14-year-old kid wearing a Louis Vuitton cravat, you know who to thank. Me. And Louis Vuitton for making some dope-ass cravats.

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 ‘Pawnee Commons’ Quotes

Quote from Leslie Knope

Ben: Look at this guy. "30 years of experience with a degree in architecture from the Royal Danish Academy of Fine Arts in Copenhagen."
Leslie Knope: Wow! Beautiful fountain. Perfectly manicured shrubbery. This is like Parks Department porn. This guy is great. I don't care if he's some junkie war criminal pimp. I am not gonna change my mind.
Ben: His name's Wreston St. James. He's from Eagleton.
Leslie Knope: Oh, I've changed my mind.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: I'm not being melodramatic when I say that people from Eagleton are snobby and evil, and they look down on Pawnee, and they would most likely exterminate everyone who isn't from Eagleton if they weren't so busy being obsessed with themselves. [exhales] God, that was close. Sometimes when I rant about Eagleton, I forget to breathe, and I pass out.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Well, they always wine and dine you first, but the fact of the matter is Eagletonians are, without exception, snobby, condescending jerks. This is the Pawnee side of our border with Eagleton... [sign: "Now Leaving Pawnee. Come Back Soon!"] And this is the Eagleton side. [sign: "Now Entering Pawnee. Good Luck With That!"]

Quote from Tom

Tom: This is the best I can do for now. And I'm $46 under budget. Now I have a small treat for you guys for all your hard work. Pizza party!
Jerry: One small pizza for all of us. With no toppings.
Tom: Cheese is a topping, Jerry. And why are these lights blaring, by the way? Does someone here own stock in the electric company?
Ron Swanson: Hmm. If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.