Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] All told, we were in there about six hours. And no, I was not meditating. I just stood there, quietly breathing. There were no thoughts in my head whatsoever. My mind was blank. I don't know what the hell these other crackpots are doing.

Donna: [aside to camera] Each animal has a photo, special talents, and a personal history... That I made up. A lot of these dogs have rescued people from burning buildings. This one helped Ray Charles around.
Andy: What? This cat was in Boogie Nights?

Chris: Ron Swanson, it is my pleasure to inform you that you are a finalist for the job of Assistant City Manager.
Ron Swanson: Chris, I feel I should remind you that I do not believe that the position or the entire government should exist. That said, you'd be a fool not to pick me.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: I will walk deeper into the belly of the beast if it means I'm able to further limit reckless government spending. I mean, I have so many ideas. Some are simple like "Take down traffic lights" and "Eliminate the Post Office." The bigger ones will be tougher, like "Bring all of this crumbling to the ground."