Andy Quote #269
Dr. Lipp Nerpins: Okay, if you're allergic to any food, we'll know in a few days.
Andy: I think based on the redness I might be allergic to getting stabbed by needles.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: We have already been to, like, five different doctors. I got my ankles microwaved.
Andy: They took my blood away to use for science.
April: Cholesterol tests.
Andy: April had her sinuses removed?
April: Looked at.
Andy: Some guy looked at my wiener, touched it. That was weird.
April: And that guy wasn't even a doctor.
Andy: That... What?
Quote from Andy
Andy: E, h, 4, m. Potato shape. Coffee mug shape. Smudge, smudge, middle finger, smudge. The rest are all smudges.
April: Oh, my God, you drove us here.
Quote from Andy
April: Hey, Ann, are you still a nurse or did they fire you because you slept with all the doctors?
Ann: You wanna try that again?
April: Hey, Ann, are you still a nurse? Because Andy's not feeling well.
Ann: What's wrong, Andy?
Andy: Just got a headache. And I'm seeing double. And I got a song stuck in my head, and my teeth hurt. Also I'm hungry.
Ann: Okay, well, some of those things are symptoms and some of them are just being a person.
Quote from Flu Season
Andy: Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have network connectivity problems.
Quote from New Slogan
Ron Swanson: You really shouldn't have dug that out of the dumpster.
Andy: I had to. Also I had a banana on the way over here. Sorry. I get why you don't want any more to know about Duke Silver, and you don't have to worry. You secret is safe with me. To even it out, I'm gonna tell you all of my secrets.
Ron Swanson: Oh, no, that's not necessary.
Andy: I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks. I didn't actually sell my last car. I just forgot where I parked it. I don't know who Al Gore is, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask. When they say 2% milk, I don't know what the other 98% is. When I was a baby, my head was so big scientists did experiments on me. I once threw beer at a swan, and then it attacked my niece Rebecca.