Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I value a good education, so I don't want to see Andy waste his time in college. Of all my coworkers, he is one of a small number whom I do not actively root against. Ugh, there I go getting all sappy.

Leslie Knope: So, I have about nine things I need to talk to you about. The first is the ribbon-cutting ceremony. Do you know who's bringing scissors? Because I cannot tell you how many ceremonies get derailed when people don't bring scissors.

Leslie Knope: Our research shows that our park will draw 5,000 visitors a year, and I want this to be the most amazing, awe-inspiring, fun-filled park ever conceived.
Chris: Now how big is the park, exactly?
Leslie Knope: It is .000003 square miles.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Recently, the last remaining telephone booths in Pawnee were torn down, and on that patch of concrete, I am creating Pawnee's newest tourist attraction: The smallest park in Indiana. The title is currently held by Martin Luther King, Jr. Park in Terryville, but guess what? Terryville sucks old car tires, and so does Martin Luther- No, he does not suck old car tires. He was one of the greatest men in history. I'm sorry. Sometimes I get competitive.