Ron Swanson: [aside to camera:] For the last three years I have served as troop leader of the Pawnee Rangers. This is our handbook. [Ron opens a single-sheet pamphlet which reads "#1. Be a man."] I wrote the whole thing myself.

Ron Swanson: However, the Pawnee Rangers were founded because some boys want to go out into nature and learn traditional survival skills without being distracted by girls.
Leslie Knope: Well, my awesome goddesses don't want to be distracted by losers. Say my club is better, Ron. Say it. My club is better. Say it. Come on. Say it's better. Say it. Say it's better. Say my club is better. Say it. Give it up. Whose club is better? Mine. Say it. You know it. Say it.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: On principal, I never say anything that another person is obviously trying to get me to say. My first wedding ceremony took two hours, because after the priest said "Repeat after me" I fell silent.

Tom: Three words for you: Treat. Yo. Self.
Both: [sing] Treat yourself 2011.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Once a year, Donna and I spend a day treating ourselves. What do we treat ourselves to?
Donna: Clothes.
Tom: Treat yourself.
Donna: Fragrances.
Tom: Treat yourself.
Donna: Massages.
Tom: Treat yourself.
Donna: Mimosas.
Tom: Treat yourself.
Donna: Fine leather goods.
Tom: Treat yourself!
Donna: It's the best day of the year.
Both: [sing] The best day of the year.