Tom Quote #287
Quote from Tom in Ron and Tammys
Ben: Tom. Jean-Ralphio. Professional basketball players.
Roy Hibbert: 'Sup, Jell-o shot.
Ben: Can I ask you guys a question? How exactly are you making money?
Tom: Wanna know how we make money?
Jean-Ralphio: Do you wanna know how we make money?
Tom: By literally printing out our money.
Jean-Ralphio: We bought a printing press. This prints bills with our faces and the e720 logo on them.
Tom: And promote the company by going to clubs and tossing the bills in the air and screaming, "Free money!"
Ben: You can't just print your own money. This has to stop, right now.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Ron and Tammys’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: So we need to find proof of every tax deduction I've taken in the last five years.
Leslie Knope: Ron, most of these aren't even receipts. This one says, "I bought supplies. 2007".
Ron Swanson: You won't find any bank statements either. I've heavily invested in gold which I've buried in several different locations around Pawnee. Or have I?
Quote from Chris
Ann: I would like to shoot a new PSA and I think it'd be good to get someone who's healthy and telegenic, and I thought that you would be perfect.
Chris: Ann Perkins. I am flattered. And I will do it. Is there a script yet?
Ann: Uh, no, because you just approved the idea, like, three seconds ago.
Chris: I would like you to write me a script and get it to me in an hour. And we should start thinking about wardrobe. Casual? Formal? Semi-formal? Sporty? Scary? Posh? Baby? Those are the Spice Girls. I just got caught up in my own thoughts. I'm very excited about this. In terms of shirts, I can wear white...
Quote from Ron Swanson
April: What's this? Some kind of lame drug deal?
Ron Swanson: That is a gentleman's agreement. I made that man a dining room table in exchange for 60 feet of copper pipe and a half pig.
Leslie Knope: Well, looks like we have some actual receipts here. Same amount, every month. 140 bucks. What's this?
Ron Swanson: Every 30 days, I buy shotgun shells and cigarettes and send them home to my mom.
Andy: [laughs] That's so sweet. Your mom sounds kick-ass.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: My first ex-wife's name is Tammy. My second ex-wife's name is Tammy. My mom's name is Tamara. She goes by Tammy.