Leslie Knope Quote #671
Quote from Leslie Knope in Li'l Sebastian
Leslie Knope: So maintenance is gonna set up the stage. Ron will be laying the ceremonial wreath.
Jerry: Leslie, there's a 13th century Italian poem by Dante Alighieri that would be very appropriate.
Leslie Knope: Oh, Jerry, that sounds wonderful. Okay, Andy, I need you to write a memorial song. Something like Candle in the Wind, but 5,000 times better.
Andy: Easy.
April: Hey, if you want a song from Andy Dwyer, lead singer of Mouse Rat, you should know he doesn't get out of bed for less than $1,000.
Leslie Knope: Well, he sleeps on a futon, so we can give him 50 bucks.
April: Sold.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Li'l Sebastian’ Quotes
Quote from Andy
Leslie Knope: We'd like to encourage everyone to buy our merchandise. All the proceeds will go towards Li'I Sebastian's favorite charity, the Afghan Institute of Learning. Next, we have a special musical tribute by Mr. Andy Dwyer.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: What's 5,000 times better than a candle in the wind?
[back:]
Andy: This song is called 5,000 Candles in the Wind. [plays guitar and sings] Up in horsey heaven Here's the thing You trade your legs for angel's wings And once we've all said goodbye You take a running leap and you learn to fly Bye-bye, Li'I Sebastian I miss you in the saddest fashion Bye-bye, Li'I Sebastian You're 5,000 candles in the wind [crowd applauds]
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] When I walked in this morning and saw the flag was at half-mast, I thought, "All right. Another bureaucrat ate it." But then I found out it was Li'I Sebastian. Half-mast is too high. Show some damned respect.
Quote from Tammy Two
Tammy Two: Two of my lovers in one place. What a coincidence.
Ron Swanson: Tammy.
Tammy Two: Hello, Ron. Ooh, what happened here? And more importantly, does the carpet match the face?
Ron Swanson: If you're looking for trouble, take it somewhere else. An hour ago, a giant fireball consumed my entire face. And it was far preferable to spending another second with you.
Tammy Two: Tell that to your pants-tent.
Ron Swanson: It's just the way I'm standing. Go back to the library, where you belong.