Ron Swanson Quote #197

Quote from Ron Swanson in Road Trip

Ron Swanson: This is your lunch. Now, you should be able to do whatever you want to with this, right? If you wanna eat all of it, great. If you wanna throw it away in the garbage, that's your prerogative. But here I come, the government... And I get to take 40 percent of your lunch. [eats sandwich] And that, Lauren, is how taxes work.
Lauren: But that's not fair.
Ron Swanson: You're learning. Uh-oh, Capital Gains Tax. [eats more]


 ‘Road Trip’ Quotes

Quote from Tom

Tom: Here's the sitch. I developed a dope new game show where I ask couples scandalous questions, and they have to guess what the other one answered. I call this Know Ya Boo.
Jerry: Oh, that sounds like The Newlywed Game.
Tom: Shut up, Jerry! It's not The Newlywed Game okay?
[aside to camera:]
Tom: It is totally The Newlywed Game. But big deal. Everyone steals. My favorite movie is Love Don't Cost a Thing, with Nick Cannon, which is based on Can't Buy Me Love, which is based on Kramer vs. Kramer or something, which I think was Shakespeare. Don't know, don't care.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: Look, little girl, can we postpone this for another day? It's unsettling having you just sit there.
Lauren: But my report's due tomorrow.
Ron Swanson: What's it on?
Lauren: Why government matters.
Ron Swanson: Really?
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: It's never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teat until they have sore, chapped nipples. I'm gonna need a different metaphor to give this nine-year-old.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: What's your name, ma'am?
Lauren: Lauren Berkus.
Ron Swanson: Lauren, my name is Ron Swanson, and I'm gonna tell you everything you need to know about the miserable, screwed-up world of local government.
Lauren: You have mustard in your moustache.
Ron Swanson: Don't sass me, Berkus. Let's get started. "Life, liberty, and property." That's John Locke.