Ron Swanson Quote #187
Quote from Ron Swanson in Eagleton
April: Hey, Ron, how's the street parking at your house?
Ron Swanson: What?
April: Can you handle, like, 20 cars or a double-decker party bus?
Ron Swanson: There is no street parking at my house. My house is not even on a street.
April: Do you have space for, like, a huge circus tent?
[Ron runs out of his office as he sees Ann arrive with balloons]
Ann: Hey, Ron. Have you seen... [Ron pops the balloons] what the hell? No! Oh!
Ron Swanson: Well, looks like there wont be any balloons for the birthday boy.
Ann: These were for a sick child at the hospital.
Ron Swanson: Ah. My office, now.
Ann: I don't work for you.
Ron Swanson: Don't care.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Eagleton’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: [aside to camera] People in Eagleton are straight up mean to us. I would never set foot over there. But it's the only place that I can get my bumble and bumble hair care products, so I'm there every eight days.
Quote from Donna
Tom: They put up a fence.
Leslie Knope: Who? [gasps] No!
Andy: What's that?
Leslie Knope: There's a small park on the line between Pawnee and Eagleton, and...
Tom: Last night Eagleton put up a fence around their side to keep us disgusting Pawnee hobos off their precious land. There's even a security guard. You got to show Eagleton I.D. to get in.
Donna: Eagleton is a bunch of rich snobs. And that's coming from someone who has a Mercedes with a Harman Kardon Logic 7 surround-sound system.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Happy Birthday, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Ann said you had a big party... sombreros, karaoke.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, I did that for Ann. Why would I throw Ron Swanson an Ann Perkins party?
Ron Swanson: What about the giant list of things April was doing?
Leslie Knope: That was just a list of ways to mess with you. She do 'em all?
Ron Swanson: She did indeed.
Leslie Knope: So I have rented Bridge on the River Kwai and The Dirty Dozen. [cork pops] Artie from security is outside the door, so no one will bother you. And a cab will be here whenever you're ready to take you home.
Ron Swanson: Thank you.