Tom Quote #240
Leslie Knope: Okay, be honest, Tom. How did you and I get matched up?
Tom: I made 26 profiles, each designed to attract a different type of girl. Tom A. Haverford, sporty and sexy. Tom B. Haverford, smooth and soulful. Which letter did you get?
Leslie Knope: "N." Tom N. Haverford.
Tom: [laughs] The "N" stands for "Nerd." I never even check that one, 'cause no one ever responds to it.
Leslie Knope: Okay, well, whatever.
Tom: Tom N. Haverford collects globes.
Leslie Knope: Great. That's enough.
Tom: His favorite movie is books.
Leslie Knope: Donna. [Donna kisses Tom] Every time I want you to shut up from now on.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Soulmates’ Quotes
Quote from Leslie Knope
Ann: Describe your ideal man.
Leslie Knope: He's dark and mysterious, and he can sing, and he plays the organ.
Ann: I think you just described the Phantom of the Opera.
Leslie Knope: Mm.
Quote from Tom
Leslie Knope: Do you want to go to lunch?
Tom: Uh, no, I don't really feel like going to JJ's.
Leslie Knope: We can go anywhere. Your choice. I'm buying.
Tom: Can I get apps and 'serts?
[aside to camera:]
Tom: 'Serts are what I call desserts. Tray-trays are entrees. I call sandwiches Sammies, Sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool blasterz, with a "z." I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big old cookies. I call noodles long-ass rice. Fried chicken is fry-fry chicky-chick. Chicken parm is chicky-chicky parm-parm. Chicken cacciatore-- Chicky catch. I call eggs pre-birds or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks... Food rakes.
[back:]
Leslie Knope: Yeah, you can get as many 'serts as you want.
Tom: Well, let's get in my go-go mobile.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Car.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Yellow-haired female likes waffles and news.
Ann: Sexy, well-read blonde loves the sweeter things in life.
Leslie Knope: Much better.
Ann: Hobbies?
Leslie Knope: Organizing my agenda. Wait, that doesn't sound fun. Um, jamming on my planner.
Ann: Favorite place?
Leslie Knope: Upstairs there's this mural of wildflowers, and I like to sit on a bench in front of it.
Ann: Really? It could be anywhere in the world. Paris, Hawaii, the Grand Canyon.
Leslie Knope: No, just the bench in front of the mural.
Ann: What about, like, an actual meadow where wildflowers are?
Leslie Knope: Ew, Ann. I'm scared of bees. Mural.