Jerry Quote #18

Quote from Jerry in Park Safety

April: We should just directly apply the food to your clothes. [laughter]
Leslie Knope: Yay! Making fun of Jerry's back.
[aside to camera:]
Jerry: They can laugh at me all they want. Because two more years until I retire with full benefits and pension. And my wife and I, we have bought a little cottage on a lake. And I am going to get myself a stack of mystery novels, a box of cigars, and I am going to sit back and enjoy my life.

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 ‘Park Safety’ Quotes

Quote from Ann

Ann: [aside to camera] I always had fun with Andy. The problem is, when you're his girlfriend, you're also his mother and his maid and his nurse. He's completely helpless. He's like a baby in a straightjacket. Ooh, Baby in a Straightjacket. That's a good band name. I should tell him that.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: Wait a minute. No. That is not the graph. That is a picture from my vacation in Muncie.
Tom: You went on a vacation, and you chose Muncie, Indiana?
Jerry: Yeah. My wife and I have a timeshare.
Tom: In Muncie?
Leslie Knope: Tom. Muncie is a lovely city.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: Okay, everybody, time for the hummingbird lottery. [all groan] Yay, okay. You know how it works, write your name down on a piece of paper.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: No, they don't win a hummingbird. I installed hummingbird feeders In all of the parks, so the winner gets to refill those feeders. Scientifically, hummingbirds are the world's cutest animals. I mean, they're so small, and they have tiny beaks, and they only eat sugar water. I mean, come on. What beats that? Baby monkeys in diapers? Yeah. They do. Baby monkeys in diapers are the cutest.