Joan Callamezzo Quote #5
Quote from Joan Callamezzo in Park Safety
Joan Callamezzo: We've all heard the old saying, "Parks are supposed to be fun," but sometimes muggers have their own ideas. Leslie Knope is with us again from the parks department. Leslie. Tell us your story.
Leslie Knope: This is my coworker Jerry Gergich. Diabetic, sloppily out of shape, friend. He was mugged this morning in Ramsett Park. Who's next? Your frumpy uncle? Your simple neighbor? Your unpopular coworker? Head of security Carl Lorthner is doing his best to keep the parks safe, but he's failing.
Joan Callamezzo: So what is the solution to fix this? To make it right and not bad?
Leslie Knope: We need money from City Hall, and it's not coming through. And, Pawnee, I am sorry to say this but your government is failing you.
Joan Callamezzo: Up next, ten objects you didn't know you can eat.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Park Safety’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
April: We should just directly apply the food to your clothes. [laughter]
Leslie Knope: Yay! Making fun of Jerry's back.
[aside to camera:]
Jerry: They can laugh at me all they want. Because two more years until I retire with full benefits and pension. And my wife and I, we have bought a little cottage on a lake. And I am going to get myself a stack of mystery novels, a box of cigars, and I am going to sit back and enjoy my life.
Quote from Ann
Ann: [aside to camera] I always had fun with Andy. The problem is, when you're his girlfriend, you're also his mother and his maid and his nurse. He's completely helpless. He's like a baby in a straightjacket. Ooh, Baby in a Straightjacket. That's a good band name. I should tell him that.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Wait a minute. No. That is not the graph. That is a picture from my vacation in Muncie.
Tom: You went on a vacation, and you chose Muncie, Indiana?
Jerry: Yeah. My wife and I have a timeshare.
Tom: In Muncie?
Leslie Knope: Tom. Muncie is a lovely city.