Evelyn Roushland: Well, Ms. Knope, I have to say I'm very disappointed.
Leslie Knope: You didn't have to say that. You could have just thought it.
Evelyn Roushland: What'd you do with the possum exactly?
Leslie Knope: Well, I'm proud to say that it's somewhere the Mayor can never pee on it.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: It's okay, honestly. I mean, look, when I retire, and I'm attending some gala honoring the first three female presidents in history - myself, and two other women I've inspired - I wanna be looking back at my distinguished legacy, and not thinking that I owe my career to some possum. And I wanna be wearing a huge, beautiful blue hat.

Ron Swanson: Hey, Mark. Welcome to my haven.
Mark: Thank you.
Ron Swanson: You're the first non-me to set foot In this building in ten years.
Mark: Um, Ron, none of this is up to code.
Ron Swanson: Sure it is. It's up to the Swanson code.
Mark: There's no drainage, doesn't seem to be any ventilation, you've got hazardous chemicals over here.
Ron Swanson: Yeah, which only I am breathing. It's the same liberty that gives me the right to fart in my own car. Are you gonna tell a man that he can't fart in his own car?

Evelyn Roushland: Mayor Gunderson was playing golf last week at Pawnee municipal, and he brought his dog-
Leslie Knope: Rufus. We all know Rufus. Everybody loves Rufus. He's a great dog. Continue.
Evelyn Roushland: Well, uh, they were out on the sixth hole when suddenly, out of nowhere...
Leslie Knope: Rufus was bitten by a possum?
Evelyn Roushland: Yes, how did you know that?
Leslie Knope: It was Fairway Frank.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Fairway Frank is this awful possum who lives near the sixth hole of the public golf course. And he's actually number three on the parks department's most wanted pests list. Right behind the bats who like to poop on the bell tower, and Poopy, the raccoon who poops all over the high school cafeteria.