Ron Swanson Quote #59
Quote from Ron Swanson in Tom's Divorce
Ron Swanson: So, how are you feeling, Tom? Are you feeling okay?
Tom: I like pretending to be sad. I now see why girls do it.
Ron Swanson: So, your arrangement with Wendy, it really was completely platonic?
Tom: Yeah. Never so much as even kissed, except for a little peck at the wedding ceremony for appearances.
Ron Swanson: Uh, now that you're getting divorced, I sort of feel like there may be some potential with me and Wendy. Would it be okay with you if I was to ask her out, once the fake dust settles?
Tom: Yeah, why not? Sure.
Ron Swanson: Looking at her, I feel like she might be the perfect spooning size for me. I'm gonna take a leak.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Tom's Divorce’ Quotes
Quote from Ann
Tom: I'll have the surf-and-turf-a-saurus, and a couple of bottles of wine. I'm gonna need a lot of wine, so keep it flowing.
Ann: I'm not gonna be drinking anything. Just wanted everybody to know that.
[aside to camera:]
Ann: I'm not a big fan of group dinners where everybody splits the bill no matter what they get. I ordered a Tyranna-Caesar salad, and that's all I'm paying for.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: God! It is rough in here. Is it always like this?
Ron Swanson: I wouldn't know. Don't like strip clubs. Smells like a wet mop in here. And I get the feeling that every one of these women is running a low-grade fever.
Leslie Knope: You're one of the good ones, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Wait a minute. Hello, beautiful.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong, salt-of-the-earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field. Your Steffi Grafs, your Sheryl Swoopeses. But I will take a free breakfast buffet any time, any place.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: There is a great dinosaur-themed restaurant in Patterson. It is called Jurassic Fork. [Leslie laughs] I have gone there three times a week for the last 15 years.