[A woman's frantic scream is heard]
Ann: Is that Donna? Donna? Okay, easy. Donna? Don't worry. Are you okay? What? Is it your heart? Are you having trouble breathing?
Donna: [screaming] It's my car. Someone shot my car!

Jerry: [aside to camera] This is such a great day. See, at my house, I got a wife and three beautiful daughters. But this trip, it is the one time of year I get to pee standing up.

Ron Swanson: You know, Leslie, the Super Bowl is in a couple of months. I usually watch it with my brothers. Maybe you could come by at halftime and shoot me in the head.
Leslie Knope: Ron, I'm really sorry that I ruined your weekend.
Ron Swanson: Perhaps next time I'm enjoying some alone time in the men's restroom, you could invite yourself into my stall and shoot me in the head.
Leslie Knope: Look, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you...
Ron Swanson: Sure. How about you shoot me in the head? Oh, wait, you already did that.