Andy Quote #42
Quote from Andy in Ron and Tammy
Ron Swanson: "Thank you, Old Gus, for brightening our lives, our hearts, and most importantly, our shoes." [applause]
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: This truly is a day of mixed emotions for me. I'm sad that Old Gus is leaving, but it allows me to help Andy restart his life as Pioneer Hall's new shoeshine guy.
[back:]
Gus: Well, I've been listening to your boring speeches for the last 50 years, and now it's time for you to listen to one of mine. [laughter] You know, a day like this makes a man reflect upon his life, and I've come to the conclusion that I've completely wasted mine. [light laughter] And just for the record, I never ever liked being called "Old Gus." I didn't understand it when I was in my 20s, and I sure hate it now. So go to hell, every single one of you. Screw Pawnee, and screw your damn shoes. Ah!
Andy: [laughs] Oh, God. That's classic.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Ron and Tammy’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: Okay. I think you should play this one cool, man. Be the grown-up. Take the high road.
Mark: Yeah.
Tom: Ann's a classy chick. If you get down in the mud, you're just gonna lose her respect.
Mark: You've just made a surprising amount of sense, Tom. Thank you.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: I've never taken the high road. But I tell other people to. 'Cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: I see. I knew that you had two ex-wives named Tammy, so I was hoping that there was one that you got along with and...
Ron Swanson: Nope. I hate them both.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rushed to my side, so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time. Would I get married again? Oh, absolutely. If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Of course. That bitch of an ex-wife is working for the library now. That is perfect. The worst person in the world working at the worst place in the world.
Leslie Knope: I have to go talk to her. And you got to give me something I can use. Does she have any weaknesses?
Ron Swanson: No.
Leslie Knope: What do you mean, no? Everybody has a weakness.
Ron Swanson: Not machines. I honestly believe that she was programmed by someone from the future to come back and destroy all happiness.