Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel-toe boot. But this hotel always serves bacon-wrapped shrimp. That's my number one favorite food wrapped around my number three favorite food. I'd go to a banquet in honor of those Somali pirates if they served bacon-wrapped shrimp. Excuse me.

[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: I refuse to lather Marlene up, kiss her ring like everybody else. Instead I'll be delivering a speech of facts.
[later:]
Ron Swanson: Marlene is a woman. She has worked in the government for three decades. Thirty years. Properly applied, that's how long a good varnish should last. So, Marlene, it is true that you have won this award.

Leslie Knope: This is very exciting. This is a big night. We are gonna meet some powerful people tonight, so take this down.
Tom: Mmm-hmm.
Leslie Knope: Good evening. Marlene Griggs-Knope is my mother.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: How important are speeches? I don't know, ask the Gettysburg Address. Oh, it didn't answer your call? Maybe because it was in the Smithsonian.